


Origin

by DarkWolfMistress



Series: Anderson's Past [1]
Category: Hellsing
Genre: Childhood Trauma, Family Drama, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Sexual Abuse, child sexual assault
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-24
Updated: 2018-01-22
Packaged: 2019-01-22 16:35:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12486032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkWolfMistress/pseuds/DarkWolfMistress
Summary: It was obvious that the Paladin had seen things. Sometimes at night he would just pace, mumbling eyes unfocused. No one stopped him. No one could have imagined what was going through his mind. Even he didn't understand. It usually happened at night after a new child was brought to his care. Tonight was especially bad.





	1. Welcome

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry about this, this is my first Fic in a long time and it happens to be very graphic. Please if you are uncomfortable with this material do not read.

Father Anderson smiled as the child came through the property gate. He always made sure that he and Mother Superior were always there to greet the new comers. The tall blond opened the car door and took a knee. The poor girl was scared to death. Clinging to her teddy bear she refused to come out of the back seat. 

"Come lass, ye must be tire an' hungry. Let's git ye inside." He smiled warmly at her and held his arms open for her. She climbed into them and he picked her up. "Ah want ye ta meet Mother Superior."

"Hi." The girl's voice was soft and broken. 

"Oh my, you are just a precious thing, the sisters made soup and fresh bread, would you like some?" Mother Superior tried to comfort the frighten girl with food.

"Alright."

"Perfect!" The priest started to walk towards the orphanage building, the officials and social worker followed.

This girl must have been dealing with something awful for court officials to come with her. He had her sit at a table with some of his more nicer children. She was welcomes and started to eat her soup and bread. He left the children in the care of the young sisters who were watching over the dining hall. He turned to join Mother Superior in her office with the social worker and officials.

“Father, is she eating?”

“Aye Mother, she is. Quite the appetite.”

The priest sat down next to Mother Superior and the discussion began. The younger girl had been horribly beaten by her parents, mother a drug addict and her father a drunk. The child finally got removed after a friend saw her bruised up arms. The teacher alerted the police after the friend came to them. The priest was trying to control the shaking in his hands. His leg was bouncing trying to relieve the anxiety he was feeling. He knew the pain all too well.

The girl was due in court in a month, but most likely she would remain in the Church’s care as both parents would be sent to prison. A tragedy. The young girl’s story pulled on the seasoned paladin’s heart strings, he looked to Mother Superior who nodded.

“Father will make sure she is ready for her court hearing and is well taken of here.”

“Thank you, Mother and thank you Father, you truly have a way with children.” The social worker left the office with the court officials.

Mother Superior looked over at her dear friend and patted his hand. “Are you going to be alright?”

“Aye…”


	2. Nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this is where the dark stuff starts to come out. Please if you don't like this material, do not read. You can skip the next three chapters. The next three starting now are going to be dark and very traumatizing.

The priest gave his new ward an hour to just get use to being around the other children. It was a very quiet day, though the sounds the children were making told a different story. He watched as she joined some of the others in a game of soccer. It was nice seeing her forget her worries and just have fun. Lord knew what she had been through. He watched as she was pushed to the ground by some boys playing rough. She quickly picked herself up again but flinched when a boy patted her back. He sighed knowing that the flinching probably would never end. Even Yumiko flinched, and it had been years for her.

The paladin ended the game to check on bruised knees and scraped up hands. “Ye all played well today, but it’s gettin’ late, how aboot we go inside an’ get some chocolate milk?”

The chorus of cheers was almost deafening. He ushered them in and watched as the young girl walked slowly after them. 

“Are ye doing okay there lass?”

“I’m fine Father.”

“Well let’s get ye some chocolate milk and off ta get ready for quiet time.”

“Quiet time?”

“Aye, it’s an hour where ye can color or read, teh older children do their homework.”

With a small nod she quickly hurried to the kitchen where there was a small glass of chocolate milk waiting for her. She took it from the Sister and followed Father Anderson to a small room. All the children were sipping their milk while reading or silently working on crafts. Mother Superior was speaking softly, helping some of the older children with their math homework. Father Anderson sat down and started to help some other children with their history homework. He kept a watchful eye on his newest ward. She quickly found herself at the craft table.

As the night progressed the young girl found herself in a quiet room all to herself. There were three other beds in the room with her, but for now she would have it to herself. The orphanage liked to keep girls and boys of the same age in rooms. She smiled when Father Anderson personally read her a good night story.

“Father do you do this with everyone?”

“Ay course Ah do!” He smiled at her and watched as she finally relaxed. “Noo let’s say yer prayers before bed.”

Together they said a bedtime prayer and then she was tucked it. The priest turned on a nightlight for her and went to the next room to read bedtime stories and say nightly prayers. All together it took a good 45 minutes. They other children were already praying and did not wish to have stories read to them. He started to relax in his own room, reading his own novel. _The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe_ was still his favorite book to this day. He was almost half way through it when he heard a scream.

The blond paladin rushed to where the screams were coming from. It was the sweet little lass. He entered the room to see her crying in bed, and her sheets soaked in urine. He quickly picked her up out of the soiled bed. He Went to wake a Sister who took her to go get a shower while he cleaned her bed. He would have her sleep in a different one tonight. He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, this was far more serious than they were originally told. There was something far darker here.

He took her from the Sister as soon as she was clean and took her to the kitchen for warm milk. He sat her down at the small table and joined her with a cup of coffee.

“Lass, Ah think we need ta talk aboot the nightmares…” 

“I’m sorry father!” 

“Nae lass! Ah’m nae mad!” He patted her little hand as she started to cry. “Hoo laung hae ye had them?” 

“Since Papa and Mama left me home with my cousin.” 

“Do ye want ta talk aboot it? Ah promise ye will be safe and it feel so much better ta talk aboot it.” 

She shook her head, scared. She sipped her milk and became quiet. The tall blond took off his glasses to rub his tired eyes. He placed them back on and gently took her hand. 

“Lass, Ah promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is going to contain CSA and CA. Please if you do not like this material, do not continue. You can skip to chapter 5.


	3. Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, this chapter will mention CA and CSA. If you do not feel comfortable with it, please skip ahead to chapter 5, there will be a recap and the story will continue from there.

The young girl refused to speak. She looked down at her small glass of milk. She was scared, Father Anderson could see that. She did not feel safe. Who would with what she went through. He could only imagine with the vagueness she gave. It hurt him dearly. He did not how to comfort her, or get her to open up to him.

“I was sleeping in my room and my cousin was babysitting me.” Her voice was small, she was afraid he could hear her. She looked down more, she was crying. “He made me touch his thing and made me lick it.”

The paladin stopped her there and hugged her. He petted her hair as she cried into his shoulder. How long had she been hiding this? She could not tell her parents, they were not trust worthy. No this little one had been hiding this pain away for a long time.

“He put it inside me. It hurt so bad and then he peed in me.”

The paladin started to feel his own tears fall. “It’s okay lass, yer safe noo.” He petted her hair and held her close. She nodded, whimpering loudly. “Hae ye told the police?”

“No, I’m too scared. What if they don’t believe me?”

“Ah’m sure they woold believe ye. We can talk ta the police when ye go for your check-in next week. Just tell the truth and ye will be okay.”

She nodded. He stopped hugging her, so he could wipe her face clean. “Noo let’s git ye up ta bed. Yer perfectly safe here. An’ if ye need anythin’ ye can go ta my room and knock for meh.” He took her hand and slowly took her to her room. He set her in another bed with clean linens.

She held his hand and refused to let go. So, he sat next to her bed and held her hand until she was dead asleep. He gently caressed her face and pushed her hair out of the way. Such a beautiful and fragile thing. He left the room, keeping the door ajar so she could find him should she need it. One of the older boys stepped out of his room. He was looking upset and looked towards the sleeping girl’s room.

“Father, I heard what happened to her.”

“Whit were ye doin’ up Joseph?”

“I couldn’t sleep after hearing her scream. I wanted to see if she was okay, but she was already crying and telling you about it.”

“Ah see. Joseph, can ye make sure she adjusts weel?”

“Of course, Father, now that I know what’s wrong with her, I think I can get her to talk.” Joseph said goodnight and returned to his room.

The priest smiled with the knowledge that Joseph himself had suffered a similar fate with his own father and his friends. Joseph was a gently soul that had passed the preliminary tested to enter Iscariot’s ranks. He was slowly starting to work through the portions. He entered his room and closed the door. Leaning against he fought back the memories from his childhood. I loved working with the orphans they grounded him, kept his mental state in check. The horrors that most of them went through caused his own pain to be rekindled. He knew he needed to help them.

He thought about his own past as he went back to his book. He could not focus on the words and just turned off his light. He stared at the ceiling for what seemed like hours before he fell into a sleep riddled with the nightmares of the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry these chapters are short, this isn't suppose to be a long read. This is mostly just getting my thoughts down and I may rewrite this later.


	4. Inner Demon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for not updating, this chapter was hard to write. Be warned there are themes that may considered to be triggering.

He was a good man. A strong man that worked odd jobs to support his family. Timothy Anderson was a mans man. He worked hard on his own farm and then worked on the cars at the auto repair shop in the village. He was seen as a good man, he kept his family afloat even in the hard times. Alexander hated his father. He knew he was a good man, but there was a demon inside of him. The young blond stayed up at night and heard his father yelling at his mother. She had spent money to buy him a new pair of shoes for school and church.

He hated when his father came home drunk. He was fine, until he got some whiskey in his blood. The blond boy climbed down from his loft bedroom. He quietly made his way to the kitchen. He was about to ask them something when he saw his father punch his mother in the face.

"Mum!" Alexander ran into the kitchen and to his mother. She was on the ground crying. He glared at his father.

"Move boy!"

"Nae! Ah'm nae goin' ta lit ye hit mom!"

"Sawny, please go back ta yer room..."

"No mum..." He hugged her tightly. He looked back at his father and was back handed.

He fell to the ground, shocked at the strength his father possessed. He looked back to his parents and saw his father dragging his mother to their room by her hair. He sat on the kitchen floor with a bleeding lip., He did not know if he was going to cry or scream. He was just frozen.

He was eight.

He was ten when his father began to beat him instead of his mother. He would fight with the man sh=o much. Over everything. He hated him. Alexander was great at school and even helped his mother on the weekends with her baking. He would deliver the breads and meat pies to their neighbors. They paid him two Pounds, but he was happy to be helping. With his mother's help Alexander was able to buy something nice for dinner as a surprise for his father. The beef roast had gone cold and the potatoes had turned solid. When his father came home he smelled of whiskey. When he came into the kitchen, Alexander could never forget what he said.

"Bridget? Why do ye hae a roast?"

"Sawney bought it for dinner."

"Why?"

"Ah wanted ta surprise ye with yer favorite food." Alexander stood up and walked so he was between him and his mother.

"Do Ah nae provide enough for ye?! Ye hae ta hae our _son_ buy yer food!?" He pushed Alexander out of the way and started to hit her.

The blond boy could not believe it. He stopped his father from hitting his mom, but he was left on the kitchen floor covered in bruises and a bleeding nose. His eye was swollen shut, but he had protected his mother. She helped him off the floor and helped him was the blood from his face. His father was passed out on the couch.

"Ah'm sorry mum."

"No Sawney." Her voice was calming as she cleaned his nose. "Ye did nothin' wrong..."

He remembered that when he was thirteen, he wanted to kill his father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More flashbacks in the next chapter.


	5. Show No Fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has mentions of CSA and CA, please be advised.

He was thirteen when he really struggled with his relationship with his father. Everything went down hill. His mother had fallen ill and was forced t stay in the hospital for a week. Alex was already working on the farm and learning to cook so he was fine. He was concerned about his father. His father for the first three nights stayed at his friend's house down the road. No doubt drinking. Alex survived on his own and still worked and did his chores. One night he heard his father yell and bang his fist against the door. The blond put on his glasses and looked at the time. It was well past midnight. He sighed and went to open the door. He unlocked it and started to walk back to his loft bedroom.

"Where do ye think ye're goin'?"

"Back ta bed..." Alexander was not in the mood to deal with his father nor his drunk friends. His father had other plans. He was dragged to the kitchen and ordered to cook for them. The blond boy made some of the steaks he was saving for his mother's return from the hospital. He took care to make sure everything was to his father's liking. He set the table and then walked to his father. He sighed and rubbed his eyes. "Now can Ah go ta bed?"

"Go back ta bed ye ungrateful brat." His father and his friends went to the kitchen to drink and eat.

The young boy climbed back into bed and groaned as their loud laughter and talking kept him awake. He must have fallen a sleep because he rolled over to retrieve his blanket. He was just awake enough to hear silence. He smiled softly and started to cuddle his pillow, wrapped back up in his blanket. He heard someone coming up his ladder and groaned softly. He tucked his head into his blankets. His father must have been checking on him to make sure he was still in bed. Bed the person just climbed into his bed. The blond peaked up, concerned. It was one of his father's friends. Before he could say anything he felt his mouth on his. He struggled as the man fondled him and pulled at his clothes. He tried to scream but he was silenced by a large hand. He fought hard against the man. He whimpered and started to cry as he was stripped. He finally was able to punch the man. He grabbed his clothes and locked himself in the bathroom. He slept there until morning.

His father's friend had made him the bad guy. Alexander tried to explain to his father. "Ye're a fuckin' faggot! Hoo dare ye try ta play the victim. Ah want ye out ay mah house!"

Alexander stayed with his neighbor for the next few days until his mother came home. He was allowed back in but his father was not happy. He went on a drinking binge after the fight with this wife. Alexander remembered that his father wasn't seen for days. His mother was worried, but Alexander could have cared less. He told his mother what happened and she knew why he was angry. It was then that their neighbor came to them. His father was in the hospital. By the time they got there, it was too late. His father had suffered a heart attack and had died.

He remembered the funeral. He remembered promising his mother that he would take care of them.


	6. Strong Too Long

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to present day and no more mentions of child abuse or sexual assault. Please remember that this is my personal headcanon of why he cares about his children so much.

He was up with his alarm like always. His night had been filled with horrible nightmares of the past. He got dresses and went to check in on his newest charge. She was still sleeping soundly. He smiled and went down to the kitchen to make some coffee and to start breakfast. The sisters would be up first to have there breakfast then the children. He took off his glasses to rub his eyes as the coffee brewed. He heard someone come down the stairs. It was Mother Superior.

"You don't look so good."

"It was a rough night..."

"I can see that. Do you want to talk about it?"

"Nae right now. Nothin' new, just nightmares." He smiled and put his glasses back on. He made his cup of coffee and then went to making a big batch of oatmeal.

"Have you go to see Father Brian?"

"Nae... He's jist goin' ta tell me teh same thing. Thit Ah have PTSD and thit Ah need to leave Iscariot."

"He said that?"

"Aye. He said thit mah work was making it worse, thait Ah needed ta jist settle down and jist be a normal priest."

"Alex... Please listen I'm worried. You are my closed friend. Hell we both started working here at teh same time..."

"Ye were just a sister then..."

"Please don't remind me of how old I am. Listen Alex, maybe they can give you some medicine."

"It does nae work because ay teh regeneration." The paladin sighed as he added the sugar and spices to the pot of cooking oats. "So Ah'm jist stuck..."

Mother superior went to her friend and hugged him. Gently patting him on the back she let him know it was okay. The blond paladin started to cry softly. He calmed down soon enough. He thanked his friend and was told to sit and drink his coffee. The sisters came down one by one to have coffee and start eating. They saw that their protector and spiritual leader was struggling. Everyone knew he had a troubled past. Everyone knew he struggled with his own demons. He was strong for it. He smiled at them and they smiled back. It was hard seeing a man like him struggle. But he never stopped being gentle and kind. They knew he had another side. That side stayed with Iscariot and in the realm of his own nightmares.

**Author's Note:**

> I do hope this was okay, I tried writing Anderson's accent but its a little hard.


End file.
